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kids louisiana outdoors southern stories

Flash Nonfiction: Guts And Glory

   Guts and Glory is a flash nonfiction story I wrote just as a writing exercise. It captures the spirit of childhood summers spent next to the swamp. I hope you enjoy it.
Guts And Glory
 
       “They look like sin dipped in misery,” Mom said. We called them katydids, science calls them Romalea guttata. They invaded our yard in biblical proportions; their bodies shined like freshly cooled lava.

         “I think they’re pretty when they flap their little red wings,” I responded.
The black grasshoppers copulated on our front yard at dusk, sometimes sneaking into the garage like lusty teenagers. One sweat soaked evening me and my brother invented our own pest control with Dad’s golf clubs- katydid hockey.
“Take that, sucker!” Chris yelled as a katydid skidded into the storm drain.
“Yeah, Chris, yeah!” I screeched with delight. Thick yellow guts painted the pavement like a Passover door. We stayed out until the mosquitoes launched an aerial attack, their needle noses drilling the napes of our necks. We were unaware that our game was a grasshopper massacre; our consciouses only existed in those fleeting moments of sunlight. We forgot our insect graveyard, oblivious to it until it was safe to resume our game the next evening. 


katydids
Bastards.
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hiking mississippi outdoors pets vacation worth the trip

Worth the Drive: Tunica Falls

Tunica Hills Campground

Clark Creek Recreational Area
Tunica Falls
Tunica Falls
Tunica Falls
I desperately need to get out of town as much as I can but unfortunately, my schedule dictates that I’m stuck in the city seven days a week. Since I had fall break this week, we threw the dogs in the car, put some extra food out for the cats, and headed to Tunica Falls (aka Tunica Hills aka Clark Creek Natural Area), a two hour drive from New Orleans. Waterfalls, slight changes in elevation (read: not flat like NOLA) and shaded trails make for a quick yet satisfying weekend getaway. I’m not sure who had more fun, us or the girls.
 
 Four dollars gives you access to Tunica Falls’ 1.78 miles of “improved” trails and 2.6 miles of primitive trails. I’d suggest doing a little of both. Be sure to pack shoes appropriate for wading through creeks. You’ll want to splash around and explore. There are six waterfalls marked on the trail but the 700 acre Clark Creek Natural area boasts 50 waterfalls total, ranging in height from 10 to 30 feet. There are bathrooms at the trailhead and a water fountain. Be sure to stop at the Pond Store, located up the road, to stock up on snacks. 
 
If you’re in need of cheap lodging, Tunica Hills Campground is nearby and provides cabins and primitive tent sites. The campground is small, which ensures you’ll be greeted by fellow campers but it’s more private than than some of the larger RV campgrounds that I’ve been to. We opted to spend the night in the A frame cabin; for $52 a night you get a queen sized bed, air conditioning, a microwave and a coffeepot. There’s also a loft to stow your stuff and enough space for the dogs. Just make sure to bring your own bath towels and toiletries; you’ll be sharing a (relatively clean) port-a-potty and outdoor shower with the other guests. 
 
For more pictures of Tunica Falls and Tunica Hills Campground check out my Tumblr: christylorio.tumblr.com. 
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fashion opinion wtf

Gap’s DressNormal campaign is a cheap attempt to cash in on Normcore

Every time I swear off writing about fashion something happens that sends me rushing to my laptop, fastidiously pounding away on a cat hair covered keyboard instead of starting on my four page paper on British poetry that’s due on Monday. Get your lint rollers and canned air out for this one; Gap’s Dress Normal ad campaign has me feeling all type of ways.  




It’s not a shocker that the Gap has never been considered a fashion forward brand. You’re not going to snag a studded jacket or a minidress with sheer cutouts there, nor would you expect to.  Some might call the brand’s no fuss, simple garments wardrobe staples, or basics, where others might call Gap a snooze fest. 

So what’s the problem with basics? The word basic has taken on negative connotations in our pop culture; “basic” in slang terms means boring and ordinary, not exactly how you want to describe your dark wash jeans and fitted white t-shirt, is it? Enter Gap’s latest ad campaign, Dress Normal, which is riding on the heather gray coattails of normcore. 

Normcore is a “new” way of dressing for the fashion elite- think Adidas slides with tube socks- that rebels against the recent fashion trends of dressing extraordinary- more on that in a moment. Normcore is rebelling against rebelling, but you have to rebel in the first place in order for normcore to make sense. 

The problem with normcore is that it doesn’t take into account what people are wearing in cities that aren’t fashion hubs.  In other words, your average dude from Kenner wearing Adidas slides with socks and a grey sweatshirt and a baseball cap is unintentionally participating in normcore. It’s plain dressing with irony, yet excludes that guy that doesn’t dress hipster cool from the inside joke. 

Over the past few years the outrageous has been considered fashionable; the peacocks showing up at fashion weeks around the globe is a good example of this. Wearing a calf grazing tutu is the new norm, so how does one stand out in a sea of kookiness? The answer, apparently, is to dress “normal”. 

Look, I kind of get it. Fashion celebrates the over the top, the glitzy and the downright bizarre. Iris Apfel is a household name for fashion insiders and Lady GaGa has given everyone carte blanche to dress outside of their comfort zone. When everyone wants to be a rare bird, however, this unique sense of individuality isn’t quite so individual anymore, is it? 

But what is normal? That’s a subjective, potentially damaging word. What Gap really means is to dress simple, a bon chic, bon genre mentality (I’m giving them too much credit, really) that’s seeing a resurgence, albeit a resurgence through the hipster lens. According to Gap’s global chief marketing officer Seth Farbman, “Finding your own version of ‘Dress normal’ is an art. My normal is different from your normal, and that’s the essence of the campaign.” 
Confused? That makes about as much sense to me as trying to explain what normcore is in the first place. 

 The problem with the Dress Normal campaign is that it indicates that anything besides normal is abnormal. It’s a backlash against creative dressing which, let’s face it, has put the hurt on Gap in the past few years, as well as other ubiquitous mall brands. It’s not cool anymore to be average, to fit in, but when everyone is trying to stand out from the crowd, where does that leave us? The best thing you can do for yourself is avoid the pitfalls of trendy dressing altogether and wear whatever the hell you want. Fashion is in a flux right now; I’d rather sit out and just focus on doing me, which is the best, most normal thing I can do.

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Categories
back to school

It’s a little quiet ’round these parts


I’ve been neglecting Slow Southern Style like she’s an old high school friend. You pinky swear you’ll never lose touch but BFFs inevitably drift apart for a variety of reasons: you don’t see each other on the daily after graduation, someone moves across the country, you always liked Mazzy Star more than Courtney Love but were too sheepish to tell her, and of course, boys. 


 Ever since I went back to college I’ve been treading water. Juggling homework, occasional freelance writing gigs, a part-time job and maintaining a modicum of a social life* has been a challenge. My husband jokes that I don’t iron his underwear anymore (pffft! as if I ever did) but the demands of adulthood, coupled with homework, can be overwhelming.  

It’s not that classes are overly demanding- I’m an English and film major, not a neuroscience student- it’s finding time to fit everything in and maintain my mental health. This semester I decided to enroll full-time and accepted the role of Editor-in-Chief of the student newspaper. I deeply question wtf am I doing some days. Did I take on too much? Is getting 5 hours of sleep a night wrecking havoc on my sanity? I know my academic efforts aren’t in vain, but I can’t help but wonder if all this will all pay off. That said, being an older student has its advantages: I have perspective and a sense of purpose that I lacked when I was in my early 20s. I’m finally able to forgive myself for dropping out of school in the first place. I was 21 when my dad died, then my paternal grandma died the next year. Working a full-time job, sitting on a full course load and dealing with the most traumatic event of my life wasn’t easy. I look back 13 years later and think “Damn, girl. Give yourself a break.”

Where am I going with this? I’m not abandoning Slow Southern Style, just trying not to spread myself too thin. This blog is really just “small potatoes” so I’m genuinely surprised it still maintains a decent audience despite the sparse updates.I’ll step off the wambulance now. Thanks for listening. 
Blue Ridge Mountains just outside Asheville, North Carolina

*And by social life I mean walking the dogs and pushing my cats off my pillow at night. 

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Categories
events new orleans

Drunken stories, true stories

I’m speaking at two events in two weeks, the first of which is tonight. Yeah, You Write! features poetry and prose from 8 UNO students. I will be reading my true short story “Notes From a Floating Motel.” It’s about all of the fun I didn’t have on a cruise. Go for the free snacks, stay for the literature. 
 Close Me Out! touts itself as “the drunken telling of drunken tales.” I can’t guarantee my inebriation level, but I do have a plethora of old drinking stories to pull from. Don’t worry, the only person I will be publicly humiliating is myself and my husband. Anything for a good story, right?
Yeah, You Write!
Tuesday, September 24 6:00 p.m.
Sandbar at the Cove, University of New Orleans 
Founders Road, 2000 Lakeshore Drive
Close Me Out!
Saturday October 4 8:00 p.m.
Hi-Ho Lounge
2239 Saint Claude Ave

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Categories
katrina louisiana new orleans

Post Katrina Musings- I never plan on doing these.

   
This isn’t a Katrina story per se, but it does represent a time of uncertainty in my life in the months immediately after the storm. I didn’t intend to post a Katrina memorial; I wrote this piece as a writing exercise for class based on Kathleen Hill’s work Forgiveness. (We had to start with “It happened.”) I thought it would be quasi appropriate to share. Love it or hate it, let me know what you think in the comments below.
Blind Dates in the Desert
       It happened inside the Starbucks on Scottsdale Road. I sat down with last month’s National Geographic and a coffee that cost as much as my used Honda. I was new to town, a New Orleans gal that felt about as comfortable in the desert as an alligator. My husband and I moved to the Phoenix suburb a few weeks after we evacuated for Hurricane Katrina.

     We decided to start somewhere new instead of taking a chance on my water logged hometown. Prior to the move, we had only spent time in Flagstaff, Arizona, Scottsdale’s patchouli laden, hiking boot wearing Northern cousin. Snottsdale, as the locals called it, wore stiletto heels and Chanel No. 5. Her boyfriend drove a Hummer and wore sunglasses at night.
     As I sipped on my caramel mocha latte, the couple sitting across from us piqued my curiosity. They were clearly on a blind date, and judging by the reverse magnetism of their body language, sparks weren’t flying.
     “So,” he asked her, readjusting his glasses to the bridge of his nose. “Do you have a carport or a garage?”
     “I have a garage.” she said, uncrossing her arms just long enough to push her long blonde mane out of her face.
     “Oh, that’s really nice.” he replied, even more unsure of himself than before. They sat in awkward silence, anxiously waiting for a connection. Something. Anything.
     “You?” She asked.
     “I have a carport.”
     “Oh, I used to have a carport, but now I have a garage. I like them both!” she feigned a modicum of excitement, the conversational equivalent of shoving your feet into a pair of shoes that are two sizes too small.
     I leaned over to my husband, who was wrapped up in Nietzsche. “This is so painfully awkward. Are you listening to this?”
     “Trying to.” he admitted.
     “They must be on a blind date.”
     “They’re so boring.”
     “So what does that make us?”
     “Judgmental and petty, because we have nothing better to do.”
     “Well, yeah, that’s true.” I said, looking out the window at the dusty red mountains that loomed in the distance.
     “I can guarantee that neither of them are getting laid tonight, at least not by each other.”
     “Yea, that’s for sure.”
     “What’s wrong with us, judging people like that?
     “Eh, it’s entertaining.” he said, and we both went back to reading.

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Categories
hiking louisiana worth the trip

Worth The Drive: Jean Lafitte National Park

The last time I made it out to Jean Lafitte National Park was in April. I grew up in the area, with the swamp butting up against our house. Armadillos frequently tunneled into our backyard and if we stood atop the levee we’d find gator eyes staring back at us. Going outside after dusk during the summer was crossing enemy lines, diving head first into a mosquito combat zone. I remember my family went to an outdoor performance of Camelot at Loyola University once, and my adolescent, humidity soaked brain couldn’t comphrend that one could sit in the city at 8:00pm and not be eaten alive by the little blood suckers. When you live next to the swamp, bugs are just a way of life. 

My mom still lives near my childhood home, and once in a while I like to stroll through Jean Lafitte when I’m on that side of the river. I know a lot of people are squeamish when it comes to reptiles and insects (minus the mosquitoes), but I look forward to these encounters. I spotted a rat snake, two alligators, a handful of banana spiders and an unending supply of katydids on my last trip. That said, I’ll jump through the ceiling if I see a cockroach in my kitchen. Hey, even this tomboy from Southern Louisiana is allowed to have her buggy fears, right?

More pictures on my Tumblr: christylorio.tumblr.com

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louisiana new orleans

Valence Cemetery

Valence Cemetery
Valence Cemetery
I drive by the Valence Cemetery fairly often but I’ve never stopped by until a few days ago. I always thought it was weird to hang out in a graveyard, even in my woe-is-me goth phase. In New Orleans neighborhoods are littered with these smaller graveyards that are often overshadowed by their grander, more famous counterparts such as the St. Louis Cemetery and Greenwood Cemetery. Sadly, the Valence Cemetery, established in 1867, is neglected. Weeds and overgrown grass have taken over the walkways and encroach on the final resting places of the deceased. While these smaller sites desperately need someone to maintain them, I’ll take the solitude of a dilapidated cemetery over throngs of tourists taking selfies next to tombstones any day.
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fashion southern style

Breaking news: I don’t care about fashion blogging anymore

I started Slow Southern Style in 2009 as a fashion blog that promoted southern fashion. Since then, it’s evolved, or maybe devolved, into something more personal. My focus here has shifted,  but I still heart fashion, even if I don’t talk about it on the internet as much as I used to. I also haven’t been buying clothes as much as I did when I worked in retail. What used to be a $200 a month habit, (a paltry amount for some, an exorbitant sum for others) it now takes me months to spend that much on clothes. Truth is, in order to blog about fashion you have to constantly rotate your wardrobe and quite frankly, I just don’t care about the newest, shiniest things. I’ve never been super trendy, but I’ve quit caring about fads even more and I’m okay with that. I feel like I’m dressing like myself, for myself and that makes me content. 

That said, I started a Slow Southern Style Instagram account to get back to my roots a little bit, but this site will remain just whatever the hell I want it to be. Here are a few iPhone photos I took this past summer. If you’re interested in better quality photos, and I know that you are, follow my Tumblr: christylorio.tumblr.com
Can’t stop won’t stop with the ostentatious snake jewelry.

I don’t always selfie, but when I do, it’s at the Abita Mystery House

Trying to look all lady like and shit.

UAL’s Covington location was practically giving these cuff bracelets away.

My back patio kiddie pool situation. Equal parts white trash and best idea ever…..

…..but we did splurge and go to Blue Bayou this summer. 

Making an attempt to play flute on a regular basis again. 

My backyard. And by backyard I mean overgrown area behind the house. 

I’m borderline too old for a romper with pom pom detailing but I really don’t care. 

My addiction to Everlane is never-ending. Gotta collect them all!

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french quarter louisiana new orleans worth the trip

Worth The Drive: French Quarter

Eventually the perks that come with your zip code become as commonplace and mundane as stopping for a red light in the middle of the afternoon. It’s been my mission this summer to do a little exploring in my own backyard, traveling to places that I always find a reason to talk myself out of going to. Even though the French Quarter is just a 15 minute car ride (or a 30 minute bike ride) from my house, somehow I always make an excuse not to go. It’s too hot outside. It’s too cold outside. The parking sucks. I don’t feel like dealing with tourists. I’m trying not to spend money/drink/I don’t feel like walking. Sometimes you just have to say “screw it” and do something fun. I took a few of these photos on the Fourth of July, hence the fireworks, but I’ve been back twice since then. Might as well, right? 

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