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Keep on living

With “Sedona,” my photo that sold at this year’s O What A Night Gala

Since I received my diagnosis of six months to live last month, I’ve been trying to do just that — live. A good friend of mine stopped by yesterday. We discussed how hard it is for people to wrap their minds around my prognosis. I’ve shared quite a bit about the past four and a half years of cancer treatment, so I’m treating this new development the same. I don’t shy away from divulging the bad, but I tend to focus on the good things I’m clinging on to. Minus the eyepatch and my bald head (back to wearing wigs sometimes), I look pretty normal, which makes harder for people to grasp what I’m living with.

Some days I feel relatively good, other days I can barely get dressed by myself. Leptomeningeal disease (LMD) is weird. Only 5% of cancer patients develop it and there is no cure. I don’t know much about it, but it seems to mostly afflict breast cancer patients, not colorectal patients. Lucky me. After careful consideration, I’m opting not to undergo chemo. The available drugs aren’t that effective. I’d have to get a hole drilled in my skull to inject chemo directly into my brain. My oncologist said the side effects are brutal, including uncontrollable nausea, diarrhea, and possible paralysis and meningitis. Why take the chance? I’m already miserable enough.

Anyway, back to living. This is my first time in four and half years that I’ve slowed down and given myself time to focus on just staying alive. School, work and travel kept me busy and sane. But my body. can’t keep up with the physical activity I used to enjoy, like roller skating, hiking, and swimming laps 2-3 times a week like I’ve done for the past year. Now, I get out of bed between 10am-noon to down a steroid pill. I’m still taking headshot clients, but I stopped my freelance writing gigs. It’s been a balancing act of taking responsibilities off my plate while maintaining an iota of normalcy. I also dropped out of school. It pained me to do that, but it didn’t make sense to pursue a degree that I won’t live long enough to finish.

Sedona sunset

Thomas and I were very fortunate to get back to Arizona this summer. We stayed for 10 days instead of six weeks, but it was good to return. It was a whirlwind once we got back from that trip. I contracted Covid, got my bad brain MRI results, and realized I had to drop out of school. That was harsh to deal with all at once, but I’m used to it at this point. I usually get the worst of the worst news in the fall for whatever reason, so I’ve come to expect it.

A better brain MRI in May, altered by me

So, what’s next? I’m taking life moment by moment, day by day. I’m trying not to play out “what if” scenarios in my head. I’m not making plans. I’ve got a few small photo and writing projects; my palliative care doctor told me to keep engaging both sides of my brain. I completed 10 rounds of full brain radiation a month ago. One of the side effects is short-term memory loss, which I haven’t experienced yet. It’s probably coming, so I’m trying to do things before I start to forget.

Oh! And I have a chapbook coming out with Belle Point Press, which you can pre-order here. “Cold Comfort” is an essay collection with accompanying photos. One of my post-graduation goals was to do a book with words and images, so it’s nice that the project is coming to fruition. I just hope I live long enough to see it in print.

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Our Home Story

My husband and I live in a 100+ year old house. I’ve been meaning to create some sort of time capsule and hide it in the house for someone to find in 30-50 years. I finally got the chance to write our house story, which I’m presenting here. I plan to include a handwritten and typed version, laminate them, and attempt to slip them behind a mantle in our bedroom.

August 26, 2022

Hi,

By the time you find this, I will be long gone. You see, as of today my doctors told me I have less than six months to live. Bummer, right? I’ve been wanting to do this, to write a note about my husband and I’s time spent in our beloved home, which is yours now. I hid this note so that it would be discovered 30-50 years from now. So, here goes.

I’m Christy Lorio, age 42 as of this writing. My husband is Thomas Fewer. He turns 49 in a few days. I grew up on the West Bank in Marrero, very close to Barataria Preserve. Thomas grew up in upstate New York, then lived in Ohio for a few years. We met when Thomas moved to New Orleans in 2000. I was 20 at the time. We both worked at Arnaud’s, that grand dame restaurant in the French Quarter. We started dating officially shortly after I turned 21, got married in 2004. I eventually moved in, and he rented the house until Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005. We made the tough decision to move to Scottsdale, Arizona. We stayed there for 3.5 years, until we were drawn back home in 2008. I moved first, then Thomas moved a few months later in 2009, when he secured a job here. 

In 2010, we were getting coffee at [redacted] on [location redacted for privacy], when we saw a “for sale” sign on our old house. Let me backtrack for a second. When we rented this house, a litter of kittens was born on the front porch. All of them were spayed, neutered, fed, and loved. Out of the litter, two stuck around— Runty and Tigre. Those cats let us pick them up and hold them like babies, but the second we closed the door when they were in the house, they would freak out. Sadly, when we evacuated for Katrina, we couldn’t bring them with us. They were too feral and wouldn’t have been able to transport them with us. We left them here begrudgingly, and asked a neighbor to feed them.

Fast forward to 2010, when we pulled up in the parking lot. Thomas spotted Runty in the yard. That was a sign that we needed to move back in. We closed on the house that February, the same time period when I turned 30 and The Saints won The Super Bowl.We had to take pictures of the house for our insurance company a few weeks later, so we posed next to the house in our Mardi Gras costumes. 

We’ve always lived on the [address redacted] side and rented out the [address redacted] side. We’ve had some great tenants over the years. As of 2022, our longest tenant was Karen, who lived on the other side for six years. 

In 2013 I went back to school to finish bachelor’s degrees (I graduated with two!) at 33 years old. My first class back was History of New Orleans. For our final project, we had to do research on a topic of our choosing. I landed on doing research on our house. I didn’t find anything particularly interesting. All I found were some newspaper classified ads for the lot, which puts the house being built somewhere between 1908-1911. I also found yard sale and for rent ads.

Even though our house history was a tad boring, when I searched for [address redacted] I found some explosive articles. There used to be a house where the coffee shop parking lot now is. The house was razed to make a parking lot for what was then a bank. (The bank was still there when we rented the house in 2000-2005.) That wasn’t the interesting part. In 1966, before the house was razed, a daughter shot and killed her mother and sister in the house. Her name was Joyce Carpenter. The mother was Stella and Doris was the daughter. Quickly, my school project became about the Carpenters. I found multiple articles in the newspaper archives. I even reached out to one of Joyce’s lawyers, but he claimed that he didn’t remember the case. I won’t go into all the details, but a few years later I found where Stella and Doris were buried and drove out to Bay St. Louis, Mississippi and found them. I cried when I found the tombstone. Even though the murder of these complete strangers happened long before I was born, I was so engrossed in their story that I was saddened by their loss.

Anyway, on to happier times. My husband and I love this house. We adore all the original architectural details, such as the millwork, original transoms, and the stained glass. Now, we have two different feral cats. Runty died at 15 years old and Tigre at 12 years old. Before they passed on to that big litter box in the sky, I had their portraits tattooed on my thighs. Now, we have two new feral cats, who have been at the house for 10 years. They are Sir Fluffs-A-Lot and Stripey. They aren’t as comfortable with us as Runty and Tigre were. They rarely let us pet them, which is unfair since we’ve been feeding these bastards for 10 years. Oh well, we love them nonetheless and I’d like to think they keep the rats away. We also get the occasional possum on the back porch and a gang of raccoons sometimes steals all the cat food.

Here I sit on August 26, 2022, reflecting back on my life in a way I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t sat down to write this. I realized I didn’t say much about Thomas. He is my true soul mate, my best friend, and my husband. We’ve been together for half my life. He’s a licensed counselor by trade. We enjoy a lot of the same activities. For the past three summers, we’ve travelled  west to Sedona, Arizona to hike. Thomas is a singer, plays the piano, and is an avid reader. He also enjoys performing improv comedy. He has been my rock for these 20+ years and has been by my side throughout my four years of living with stage IV cancer. I won’t say more about cancer because I don’t want to give cancer more page space than it deserves. I have cancer, but it doesn’t define who I am. 

I hope whenever, whoever discovers this note gets joy out of it. Just know that this house was loved, and it was an integral part of our lives. 

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My hiking essentials

Sedona, AZ

For the past three years, I’ve been doing some form of an extended vacation. I was in Ireland for six weeks the summer of 2019, then Thomas and I went to Sedona, AZ for six weeks in 2020 and 2021. We love hiking, which is something that Louisiana sorely lacks due to how flat the state is. We’re going back to Sedona this year for 10 days and I plan on hiking every single day. Here are some of my favorite things to take with me for both short and long hikes.

Sedona double exposure, shot on medium format film

For day hikes, I always bring a 32 oz. Nalgene bottle, and maybe a snack depending on the length of the hike. For longer hikes, I carry a hydration bladder for quick access to my water. I like a bladder because they’re lightweight (minus the water) and easier to carry than a few bulky water bottles.

Footwear

Salewa brand is my hiking boot of choice. I don’t dick around when it comes to footwear. The wrong pair can really ruin your hike. I’ve got wide toes and high arches, so I need that good arch support and a toe box wide enough to not pinch my pinkies. My boots are worth every penny as I’m on the third year with them and they show very little wear despite racking up a slew of trail miles.

Socks are really important, too. I like Bombas, Smartwool (in winter), but any good, thick sock will do. You want the extra cushion. Look for extra cushion in the toes and heels, especially if you’re doing a hike with a lot of elevation gain. If you’ve got a steep descent, the last thing you want is to smash your toes against your boots. Trust me, you don’t want to lose a toenail.

Bandana

It’s not a hike without a bandana! I always hike with a bandana or neck gaiter. A bandana is such a multipurpose item. It keeps the sun off your neck, you can use it to wipe sweat from your eyes, it functions as a potholder when handling a hot camp stove, etc… I have several and I like to get them soaking wet on hot days, which really cools you off.

Backpacks

Again, it’s all about comfort and functionality. I have two Deuter brand backpacks, one for backpacking, and one for day hikes. When I buy gear, I look for durable products that will last me for years and I research all the features. It’s best to try on gear in a store, especially if you have a short torso and are petite, like me. I got my “big bag” at Massey’s in New Orleans so I could try it on. You don’t want to find out on the trail that your pack doesn’t suit your size, especially if you plan to do an overnight backpacking trip.

Camera

Get yourself a comfortable camera strap. I bought this BlackRapid Backpack Breathe last year and it was such a solid investment. The carbingers attach to your backpack straps, eliminating the need for a neck strap. I hate neck straps, so this is perfect for me. Before I bought this, I’d have to finagle my shoulder strap around my backpack straps, which wasn’t comfortable and would rub my neck. I also really like BlackRapid’s wrist strap when I’m shooting analogue. If you’re hiking without a backpack, I really like this strap designed for people with boobs.

Sun protection

Sunscreen is a must, even though I hate the way it feels on my skin. I’ve invested in several hats and last summer I bought long sleeved swimsuits with built in UPF protection and these sun sleeves that protect your hands and arms. Sure, they look goofy as hell but it’s better than getting melanoma.

Portable charger

I really enjoy unplugging when I’m hiking, but a phone comes in handy for emergencies, navigation, a back up flash light, etc… I have a few portable phone chargers but I really like the ones from Anker. They’re solar powered, so you can recharge it while you’re out. I bought mine after Hurricane Ida left us without power for days. It’s really handy to have.

Headlamp

I always bring a headlamp with me, even during the day. You never know if you’re going to get lost and trust me, you don’t want to try to navigate your way in the dark.

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Your Sedona Travel Guide

Sedona sunsets never get old

Last summer Thomas and I fulfilled a longterm dream of spending summers in Northern Arizona. If one good thing came out of Covid, it was the ability to work remotely. We were out walking the dogs in New Orleans during quarantine when one of us uttered the words “What if we spent a month in Sedona?” From then on, we couldn’t shake the idea from our heads. With stimulus checks in hand, we booked a month-long stay at Red Rock Suites, an apartment situated on the main strip but far enough away from the touristy area so that we felt socially distanced without sacrificing convenience. We had so much fun last summer that we’re doing it again next month. Here are some of my favorite spots to eat, drink and put some mileage on those hiking boots. And since we’re doing it again this year, I’ll provide more detailed guides soon.

EN ROUTE

Cadillac Ranch Amarillo, TX

We drove from New Orleans to Sedona, which took us three days and roughly 23.5 hours. We did this for a few reasons: we felt safer driving during Covid, a car is a must in Sedona, and we had a lot of stuff to bring since we were staying so long.

We’ve made the drive from New Orleans to Arizona several times, usually taking the I-10. This time, we went up through Dallas and took I-40, which gave us the option to check out new places en route.

We stayed in Dallas both getting there and coming back, but switched up our second night on the road. Amarillo, TX was one of our stops because it was close to the TX/NM border and I wanted to check out Cadillac Ranch, a classic roadside attraction that features a car art installation. It was really interesting, but be prepared for semi-large crowds of people adding their own touches to the cars with spray paint.

Blue Swallow Motel, Tucumcari, NM

On the way back we stayed in Tucumcari, NM, which is right on Route 66. Tucumcari is a dream of a town and we’re staying there again this summer. It was a treat to wander down the strip and look at all the old motels. I would have liked to explore more but we had to hustle back to Dallas.

SEDONA

A little backstory: I’ve been coming to this part of the country since I was a kid. Maybe it’s the stark contrast from Louisiana’s swamps to the vast, sweeping beauty of the desert, but I’m enamored with Arizona, especially the northern part. We went to the Grand Canyon twice when I was growing up, both the South Rim and the North Rim. When my dad found out he had colon cancer in 2000, he wanted to hike to Phantom Ranch (bottom of the Canyon) before he died. He never got the chance, so doing something in honor of my dad is another big motivator for me. Thomas and I hiked to Phantom Ranch the spring after my dad died, then we worked on the South Rim for a summer in 2003. I’ve hiked to the bottom 10 times, including when we lived in Scottsdale for 3.5 years after Hurricane Katrina.

When we lived in Arizona, we spent most of our free time in Flagstaff, Jerome, and the Grand Canyon. So when we were thinking about places to stay for a month, Sedona came to mind since we hadn’t spent much time there.

So, what’s there to do in Sedona? Hiking, hiking, and more hiking. According to AllTrails, there are over 500 trails at your disposal, most of which link up so you can take a short hike or opt for a longer one by hiking multiple trails in one go. It doesn’t take much to feel like you’re in the middle of nowhere, even when you’re surrounded by neighborhoods or the highway. We hiked nearly every day and didn’t scratch the surface.

If you’re headed to Sedona in the summer, be mindful that it can get brutally hot during the day. Since Thomas worked early afternoons into early evenings, we would hit the trail between 5-6:30, which left us plenty of time to do shorter (under five miles) hikes before it got dark. The other great thing about Sedona is the access. Almost every hike we did was a five to 10 minute drive from our apartment.

An advantage of hiking later in the day was cooler temperatures, and we got to see bats flying at dusk. You’ll definitely want to bring a headlamp; one night we wandered too far and were stuck hiking in the pitch black. We also got a little lost in the dark. We encountered several tarantulas and one pissed off rattlesnake, so be mindful of wildlife, especially at night. That said, the stars are incredible thanks to less light pollution.

WHERE TO EAT

Since it was the height of the pandemic and we had a full kitchen, we mostly cooked at home. We did get takeout about twice a week, and there were a few places that offered outdoor seating where we felt safe. Keep in mind that everything is changing and opening back up, so we’ll probably feel a bit better about eating in restaurants this time around.

Our favorites, in no particular order:

  • Pisa Lisa — Really good pizza with outdoor seating. Expect a wait if you’re dining there.
  • The Sundowner — The only bar we went to. They serve a no frills burger in a neighborhood bar, hole in the wall setting. It was a refreshing change from Sedona’s upscale vibe and it’s right across the street from Red Rock Suites.
  • Butterfly Burger — Oh, you fancy? Upscale burgers for when you want something more creative than the classics. Technically in the village of Oak Creek, not Sedona.
  • Sona Kitchen and Boba — Walkup takeout bubble tea shop in the heart of Uptown Sedona. It’s surprisingly good for being in a super touristy area. The salt & pepper popcorn chicken is really satisfying.
  • Tamaliza– Authentic Mexican restaurant with outstanding tamales. I only ate there once but I’ll definitely go back.
  • Oak Creek Brewery and Grill– I’m a sucker for soft pretzels and beer. Oak Creek has both. I’ve eaten here numerous times over the years. They also have great beer. Get the beer flight!
  • Hilltop Deli– Classic deli fare, quick and easy. Really good sandwiches you can stash in your backpack for a day hike.

WHAT TO DO (BESIDES HIKE)

Again, since we were in Arizona at the height of the pandemic we definitely limited our outings to outdoor, socially distant activities. Here are some of my favorites. Keep in mind that I’m leaving out the more obvious choices, like Tlaquepaque. There’s tons of mentions in other guides.

  • Thrift stores– If you’re only in town for a few days, I wouldn’t spend hours thrifting. But I got some real gems, including clothing and housewares. Maybe I’ll write a Sedona thrift guide, but if you Google “Sedona thrift store” you’ll get a good list.
  • Swimming– It’s so hot during the summer, and Sedona has plenty of places to swim. Two of the most popular are Grasshopper Point and Slide Rock, both located in Oak Creek Canyon. I highly recommend going during the week, as the weekend crowds get thick and parking is really difficult.
  • Lounging– We really wanted a pool day, so we took advantage of cheaper rates because of Covid and booked a one night stay at Los Abrigados Resort. We soaked in the pool and hot tub and played a round of mini golf while we were there. They also have private creek access, so you can swim in the creek if you prefer that.

BEYOND SEDONA

Grand Canyon at sunset

You could spend a lifetime in Arizona and not see and do everything the 48th state has to offer. Aside from the stunning desert views, the other benefit in staying in Sedona is the proximity to so many of our other favorite areas. Here’s a rundown of where we went and what we did. I’ll do some followup posts later this summer with more details.

  • Prescott– About an hour from Sedona, Prescott is another charming city with lots of hiking. We spent one day here kayaking on Watson Lake, then did a quick hike afterwards.
  • Jerome– I’ve spent a lot of time in Jerome when we lived in Scottsdale. A 30 minute drive from Sedona, Jerome is perched atop a mountain and is a former ghost town. There’s plenty of art galleries, shops, bars, and restaurants, which makes for a good afternoon. There are also some steep inclines, so be prepared.
  • Flagstaff– Halfway to the Grand Canyon, Flagstaff also has a ton of hiking and the downtown area is really cute. We did some hiking here last trip and hit up Bookman’s, my absolute favorite used bookstore.
  • Grand Canyon– I don’t know where to begin. I’ve spent so much time in the Canyon throughout the years. Just go, even if you don’t step foot on a trail. The Canyon is so majestic that I cry every time I go.
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We’ve got some catching up to do

It’s been a year since I updated Slow Southern Style. How did an entire year go by so fast? Covid has made time slow down and speed up, with whole months flying by followed by long, excruciating days. I won’t attempt a full year summary, but here are a few notable moments to bring things up to speed.

First off, I graduated in May 2020. According to my degree, apparently I’m now a Master of Creative Writing. Graduating during a pandemic stripped away the traditional pomp and circumstance, so I ended up taking my own graduation photos and threw myself a socially distanced party in the front yard. Not having all of the end of year festivities felt anti-climactic, so I was glad I created my own celebrations instead of just waiting for my degree in the mail.

As tough as living in Covid-19 times has been, there have been good things to come out of this experience. Thomas, my husband, is a counselor. He was fortunate to have a fairly smooth transition from seeing clients in person to all telehealth. With him able to work anywhere, this afforded us the luxury of fulfilling a long term dream of ours– spending summers in Northern Arizona. Last July, we spent a month in Sedona, AZ and took trips to the Grand Canyon and other neighboring areas on the weekends. We hiked nearly every day, found an excellent swimming hole, kayaked on Watson Lake in Prescott, and caught sunset at the Grand Canyon multiple times at the spot where my sister was married. The trip was so wonderful that we’re doing it again this summer. A good friend of mine is housesitting for us while we’re away, which eases the burden of what to do with our cats and dogs.

Photo I made during my spring 2021 semester

Oh, y’all thought I was done with school? No ma’am. Right after we got back from Arizona in August I started another MFA program, this time in Studio Art. My focus is photography, and I was thrilled I got into the program and somehow tricked enough faculty into thinking I’m a “real artist.” Prior to this program, I had no academic experience in photography. I took two noncredit college classes back in 2014 when I bought my first DSLR, but aside from that it was all fumbling along as I figured it out on my own.

I felt overwhelmed and intimidated my first few weeks in the program, but somewhere along the way my confidence grew. I’ve been working as a Teaching Assistant, which was daunting at first but helped me realize I know more about photography than I thought I did. And, just to jump ahead a little, I started to submit my work to open calls at museums and galleries.

This July my work will be in my first group gallery show, curated by Loosen Art, at Millepiani Exhibition Space in Rome, Italy. My photo was chosen out of nearly international 1,500 entries. All of this still doesn’t feel real, like I’m reading about someone else’s life. My photos were SO BAD when I first started blogging here, but I was determined to get better. I still have a long way to go, but I can’t freaking believe this is where I’m at.

I lost my hair as soon as I got used to having it again. Right before we left for Sedona, I hoped I was done with cancer treatment for a second time. I went through fourteen more rounds of chemo and five rounds of radiation. I was off chemo for six glorious months. Shortly after we got back from the summer of a lifetime, I was told that the cancer was still in my lungs. And if that’s not bad enough, I also found out I had unrelated melanoma in my arm and a brain tumor recurrence. In the span of about a month, I was back on chemo, this time for life, I had surgery to remove the melanoma, and gamma knife radio surgery to my brain, and I found out I had Covid and didn’t know it.

Yea, it was a lot.

I’m still on chemo for life, but of the three lung tumors I had one disappeared, one shrunk to an insignificant size, and the largest appears to be dying. I’m hoping to transition from full blown chemo to maintenance chemo soon, but we’ll see.

One of the hardest parts about finding out I was back in treatment indefinitely (and there were many) was losing my hair for the third time. I just started to enjoy having a full, albeit short, head of hair. I managed to keep it until after Thanksgiving, when it started to fall out to the point where it warranted a shave. This go round, I’ve fully embraced wearing wigs. I’ve been having fun changing up my look and an essay I wrote about hair loss was published in Entropy Magazine.

And as if having cancer during a pandemic wasn’t bad enough, even my damn dog got cancer. Yup, two bitches in one house on chemo at the same time. We had to get her leg amputated and she had six rounds of chemo. She was doing well as a tripod. We’ve been going on our regular walks and taking more breaks. However, she took a turn this past week and has been struggling with inflammation, to the point where she’s having major trouble walking and falls down a lot. We’re hoping this is temporary; it’s heart wrenching watching your dog suffer.

Photo by Denise Lyons aka @roamingnola

Just like every other big event, Mardi Gras 2021 was disrupted because of Covid-19. Nearly all of the lavish parades and balls we are accustomed to got cancelled, so the people of New Orleans decked out their houses to look like floats. If there was any year to sit out, this was it. Temperatures dropped so low that we were afraid of pipes bursting. Thomas and I didn’t go full throttle on Mardi Gras Day like we usually do, but we did meet up with some friends and family, dressed up a little, and drove around and looked at house floats.

So, what’s next? I’m looking forward to a break from school this summer. This program doesn’t feel like school to me, but not having deadlines will be nice. I’ve also been working a little here and there, but I’m on disability so I can only do so much. I’m taking more freelance writing jobs, doing headshots for people, working the occasional catering gig as a waiter, and I have a (super) part-time job as a social media manager. We’re still going to Sedona again, but I’ll have to fly back to New Orleans for one round of chemo and lab work while we’re out there. In the meantime, if I forget to blog, you can find me on Twitter and Instagram. I also started selling photo prints, which you can buy here and I’ve got a portfolio of photos and my published writing here.

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Quarantine Outfits

Like most people, I haven’t been getting out too much except for the essentials: chemo treatments, food runs, and exercise. I try to put on “real clothes” most days but sometimes I just change out of pajamas into workout clothes, then put my regular clothes just for a few hours.

Retail is down 50.5%, which isn’t surprising. I haven’t had the need nor want to buy clothes since Coronavirus started. That said, I did splurge and bought the vintage tropical print maxi dress featured here from Funky Monkey because I needed a extra joy in my life. When in doubt, always go for a bold print.

I’ve also got some fun, non-clothing related personal news. In addition to graduating from The University of New Orleans’ MFA in Creative Writing program, I’ve been accepted to UNO’s MFA in Photograph program in the fall. I’m shocked that I got in. Aside from two non-credit classes I took six years ago, I’ve been practicing and studying photography on my own. I’m thrilled to start my fourth college degree. If you’d like a peak at my work here is my portfolio.

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Stay well, dress well

Sleep in, hang out around the house. Sleep in, hang out around the house. Coronavirus has me cooped up in doors but I’m trying my best to get dressed and feel like a real human. There have been days when I putt around the house in my pajamas well until the evening, but I typically get dressed in “real clothes” every day. I just makes me feel better.

It’s hard to remain positive these days, to see the good in the world. I’m quarantined like everyone else, but I’m also in active cancer treatment. This means I go to the cancer center every other week for bloodwork and chemo. I’m avoiding grocery stores and other essentials but I do get take-out from my local restaurants two or three times a week. But going into the cancer center feels risky. I’m safe from the chaos of the emergency room but still, entering the center feels risky.

On my chemo off weeks I go for long walks and I’ve been getting back into running, which makes me feel good. Like I’m doing something. School is winding down; I defended my thesis (I even put on makeup for it!) and I have just three weeks until my class ends. Our commencement ceremony was cancelled, which was to be expected. I was looking forward to walking across that stage with my cap and gown and masters hood. Earning my MFA is an accomplishment in its own right, much less doing it will having cancer. Not having a ceremony feels anti-climatic but I know it’s for the best.

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Quarantine, but make it fashion

Since June 2018 I’ve had the unfortunate experience of dealing with cancer. I was diagnosed stage IV rectal cancer, which initially spread to my brain, and now my lungs. For the past two years I’ve been in and out of cancer treatment, which makes me feel better prepped for quarantine than most people.

I’ve always maintained that when you look good, you feel good and going through cancer treatment has proven that correct. Whether you’re working from home, recently unemployed, or simply cooped up, I’ve found that throwing on a fresh set of clothes really helps improve my mood and makes me feel ready to be productive, whether that’s sitting on the couch reading a book or getting some work done from the home office.

When I first got diagnosed I immediately splurged on vintage cotton pajamas and matching sets. The vintage PJs cost about as much as sets you’d find at Target and they really helped me feel more put together than when I wore a paint splattered old t-shirt to bed. Taking pride in your outward appearance, no matter if you’re staying in bed all day or out running errands, can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself. For me feeling put together is a confidence boost. It would be easy to dress slovenly (justifiably so) during cancer treatment, but what good would that do me? It’s possible to dress comfortable and feel good about yourself. At the very least, when I was feeling awful at least I felt like myself and could say “Hey, at least I got dressed.” I have a few fashion tips for cancer patients that will help you look good and feel comfortable while you’re going through treatment and beyond.

  • Stick with natural fibers. Synthetics tend not to breathe as well and retain odors. I can’t take a proper shower when on a chemo pump (hello, industrial strength baby wipes) so I try to wear a loose fitting top, or at least something that doesn’t fit snug in the armpits.
  • Wear bright colors. Whenever I wore cheery hues I found that my mood improved.
  • Wear real clothes. Even when I was stuck in the house I tried to not hang out in my pajamas all day, unless I was bed bound. Wearing “real” clothes made me feel human and motivated me to do something at least a little productive, such as read a book or write.
  • If you can’t wear “real” clothes consider upgrading your pajamas. I like matching sets and Etsy has vintage pajamas that will lift your spirits. Be sure to search for PJs in nature fabrics, such as cotton. How in the heck did women sleep in nylon back in the day?
  • Be comfortable. Now is not the time to wear tight fitting jeans or a bra that pinches. I swapped out my underwire bras for bralettes, especially on the days I had to do chemo.

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Mardi Gras 2020 Costume Recap

My husband Thomas and I love a good couple’s costume. There’s something about wearing complementary costumes that makes that much more of an impact. This year we went to our fourth Airlift Ball at Music Box Village. The theme was Sirens of Salvage so we brought out these raincloud costumes that we wore on Mardi Gras Day several years ago. I made the enormous hats, which are fun to look at but not fun to wear because they are so damn cumbersome. They definitely got attention, which made them worth pulling out of the closet.

Almost all of the original black felt raindrops were missing, so I made new ones and attached them to embroidery floss. Unfortunately the second we got out of the car the wind whipped those strings around causing all of my handiwork to become one giant, tangled knot. #$%@!

The next night we went to Choke Hole, a drag queen wrestling event. It’s campy and over the top and lots of audience members dress up. Since it was Valentine’s Day we decided to dress the theme. I decorated the hats from materials I found at Michael’s. My pillbox hat was made from scratch; I took a buckram hat form and added foam to it for additional height.

Vaude’D Gras

On the Sunday before Mardi Gras we went to Thoth and skipped Bacchus to go to Vaude D’Gras, a vaudevillian Baroque circus act performance. Costumes were encouraged, so we put together these fun looks from items we already owned. We did buy the red and white striped pieces to coordinate. I found the skirt on ThredUp.

An easy parade going look. I threw on this pink wig I bought years ago. Urban Outfitters jumpsuit bought last year at Buffalo Exchange, Gianni Bini glitter sneakers from Swap Boutique, Sunglasses from Fifi Mahony’s Salon.
Another easy parade look. Thrifted sequin blouse and silver sequin leggings I’ve owned for a few years. That sign worked btw. I caught about 40 cups!
I love useful throws instead of plastic crap and this Hail Thoth scarf I caught last year was perfect for this year’s parade. The t-shirt is from We Do Cute and the purple, green and gold earrings and sneakers are from Shop Trendz.

The grand daddy of carnival season was, of course, Fat Tuesday. Can you believe we both found these costumes at Buffalo Exchange? I broke a rule this year; I never repeat a costume on Mardi Gras Day but this year I did. I wore this gown back in 2009. When Thomas found his costume I knew that my dress needed to make a reappearance since it was the perfect complement to his costume. We got stopped for pictures countless times and had a lot of fun wearing them.

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Thinking About Spring

Fat Tuesday is tomorrow (!!!!) and I’m already thinking about spring weather and what I will be wearing. Once the costumes have been packed away and the wigs have been combed out, I’m going to start boxing up my heavier winter wear and start unboxing my spring and summer wardrobe. I box all of my out-of-season clothes up for a few reasons, the primary reason being tiny closets. I live in a 100+ year old house, which means my closets are spare in size. The other reason is that if I’m staring at my clothes year round I get bored with them quicker, even if I’m not wearing them. I highly suggest you rotate your closet. It seems overly simplistic, but I guarantee you’ll benefit from a streamlined wardrobe.

There is no method to my boxing technique. I make sure everything is freshly laundered before storing it away; I even pack up my out-of-season pajamas and workout clothes, like flannel nighties and my thicker leggings. When I pull a box out, I like to assess whether or not I want to keep my clothes. If I’m not immediately excited to wear a piece again it goes into a sell pile. I hate wasted space, so why not trade that tired sundress in for something I’ll actually wear? That said, I do hang onto certain items, such as my sweet vintage western button downs. I haven’t worn them in years but they’re one of a kind and I’m not sure I would find anything comparable within my budget again.

Are you thinking about spring as well? Feeling overwhelmed and want to start fresh? I’m offering styling services to help you cull your closet and look your best. My focus is secondhand and sustainable fashion, so if you’re thinking green, want to add new, eco-friendly styles to your wardrobe, or make do with what you have, hit me up.